The Birth Certificate

In Switzerland, whenever a birth certificate is required – for example to apply for a passport – the authorities will not accept the birth certificate, i.e. the one issued when you were born. The only documentation that they will accept must have been issued within the last six months. Since this seems absurd to me, I’m clearly not sufficiently assimilated to get a Swiss passport. Moreover, this approach raises questions. For example:

My real birth certificate – the one issued when I was born – contains a blue seal from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and inked footprints and handprints from 'Baby Dan'. I doubt that newly prepared documentation would be so cool.

Nazy, however, has a much more difficult problem. Her birth certificate, a nifty little book, was issued by “The Empire of Iran”. As such, it is no longer valid: she needs to get an “Islamic” birth certificate. And, to do this, she needed an Islamic photo and a trip to the Embassy of the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Spousal Interrupt: “Surely you do not plan to put that photo in the blog. Right Dan?” Nazy seemed distraught.

Response: “Actually, my dear, it is important that this blog faithfully represent family activities.”

Spousal Response: “Publishing that photo could reduce the number of family activities that you are able to partake in.”

Response: “Is that a dangling participle?”

Subsequent blog entries will provide a more representative photograph of Nazy. Note: we have been married for more than 37 years. This is the only unsmiling photograph of Nazy that I have ever taken. There is something fundamentally wrong with a government that can erase Nazy’s smile.