The Value Chain of Fruits

The Value Chain of Fruits

As a GLOBAL NOMAD, I am very happy for the near-universality of the English language. (The only places I’ve had trouble with the basic language are Yorkshire and Scotland.) Sometimes, however, you hear word-for-word translations of local idioms – a situation that frequently leads to confusion.

“If you close this deal,” Hans said. “It will be a real feather up your ass.”

It turns out that this Dutch expression roughly means: “It will be a feather in your cap.” The Dutch expression refers to a peacock – strutting and proud.

Or…

“How hard is that task?” I asked.

“Well, it’s not two fingers in your nose,” Piet replied.

I should have known that one: two fingers in your nose is easy.

And finally:

“It will create and meet new demands for traceability and control along the value chain of fruits.”

Frankly, I don’t understand this one. Ideas and suggestions are welcome.

P.S. The photo is of Nazy in Malaysia with a chain of valuable fruits.

The Banksters

You continue to subtly criticize the bankers….

Subtly Criticize? I think that they are moronic fools.”

Do you understand anything about finance?

I put three kids through university.

But..

An investment vastly less risky than a subprime mortgage.

Clearly, however, you don’t understand the importance of financial innovation as it leads to financial growth.

I’m not the only one:

“I wish someone would give me one shred of neutral evidence that financial innovation has led to economic growth – one shred of evidence.”
- Paul Volcker

I think we should tax the bankers – both personally and as corporations. The way it is now, they reap the reward for massive risks and we, the taxpaper, cover the losses.

Why do you care? You’re living in Europe, you don’t have to worry about US taxes.

Dream on - and don't get me started on the US tax code.

But if the government taxes the banks, they may move to a different country.

Well, we can dream can’t we. Or, as others have said:

“.. unfortunate, but given the costs of carrying that financial situation around, it may be a price worth paying.”

- Andrew Haldane, Bank of England responding to a threat by London-based bankers to migrate to NYC, Hong Kong and Zürich.

And finally: I was in NYC this week. The bull is the symbol of Wall Street, but the most common thing I saw was signing touting retail space for rent.

The Fashionable Blog

“So, Melika, how’s business in these recessionary times?” I asked.

“Business, Dad? What business?”

“You’re a lawyer, Mel. Given the economic train wreck, there must be someone we can sue.”

“We can blame a lot of people, Dad…”

“Great. My management’s core competency is blame allocation. Would you like some help?”

“We can blame, but I’m not sure we can sue.”

“So what are you doing?”

“Billable hours are in short supply, Dad. I work on IPOs.”

“I know. I’m Pissed Off.”

“Funny. We just need one big deal and then I’ll be safely billable. Until then…”

“Yes?”

“They asked me to write a blog.”

“A blog?”

“On fashion and legal issues.”

“So, I assume it has to do with skirt lengths and, eh, plunging..”

“See for yourself, Dad.”

http://sheppardmullin.createsend4.com/T/ViewEmail/r/7DC4FDDB8867BB4E/A14106CE33A92A942540EF23F30FEDED

(Legal firms like catchy little URLs.)

P.S. The Photo is from Melika's birthday... a few years ago.

Parental Advice

“Nothing is out of reach – you can do anything!” Parental advice, 0r perhaps, parental encouragement delivered when Mitra was young. There is an implicit addendum to the advice that sometimes parents don’t consider: “Nothing is out of reach – you can do anything that you want to do.”

Mitra wanted to major in Comparative Literature at Princeton.

“Hmm,” I thought. “Haven’t seen too many advertisements with the headline: Desperate need: Comparative Literaturist with focus on medieval French and Persian garden allegories.”

Mitra turned it into a job in brand marketing – a field that she mastered quickly.

“Well,” I thought. “I’m an engineer, I always thought that marketing was a bit, eh, well,..”

She discovered Tango in Argentina. (Mitra was in the middle of a round-the-world business trip: proof that parental genes were transmitted.)

“That’s a nice hobby,” I thought. “But it is a bit obscure.” Then she announced that she was abandoning marketing to build a Tango School in Los Angeles.

“Gasp!” I thought.

“You and Mom told me: Nothing is out of reach – you can do anything.”

“But,” I thought. “Tango?”

“Argentine Tango, Dad. Stefan and I are going to create the best Tango School in the world. We’re going to build a community and we’re going to follow our passion – doing what we love.”

“Well,” I thought.

“And we have the metrics..”

“Did Mitra say ‘metrics’?”

“We know what works. We got 200 students signed up after the Groupon deal. We know how many students ‘stick’, we know what campaigns work and what doesn’t. We know how many hits we get on our web site – and how many click-throughs. We’re on Facebook and YouTube. We’re…

“… going to build the best Tango School in the world,” I concluded.

See for yourself. Check: http://www.oxygentango.com/

And, if you’re in Los Angeles – sign up.

The picture is Mitra in 1987. For more a more recent photo, check her website.

Reader Feedback

In the posting about your trip to London (and back), you included a photo that is purportedly of a London ‘black cab’, but it says “Chicago” on the taxi. Did you make a mistake?

Why do readers always assume that a mistake has been made?

You did not answer the question.

This forum is for questions. You just made a comment; you did not ask a question.

Hmmm.. Why does it say ‘Chicago on a London taxi?”

The musical Chicago was playing in London.

Do you have other photos of taxis?

Yes. See above.

In an earlier posting, you commented upon a ‘family firing’. This is outrageous. Fortunately ‘real corporations’ would never do anything like this.

And your question?

Fortunately, ‘real corporations’ would never do anything like this. Right?

My daughter’s company lost a major contract. They sent an eMail to the 65 employees, representing 65% of the staff, to meet at 10:00 the next day. All were immediately sacked. My daughter did not get the eMail.

Congratulations, eh. Congratulations?

But, after the meeting, and relieved, she saw her boss who said: “I was sure that I put you on the ‘to’ list for that email.”

The Contact Lens

We also visited the glacier and mirror museums in Lucerne. It was, naturally, another opportunity for a family photo.

One of Darius’ contact lens fell out of his eye during the drive home.

“And so, Darius,” I observed. “Another family tradition is fulfilled!”

“What do you mean, Dad?”

“You have lost at least one contact lens every time you visit Zürich. And we’re never able to find a replacement. It’s a tradition.”

“Ah ha!” Darius exclaimed. “I knew all about this ‘tradition’. So, before I moved to Lebanon, I got a two year supply of contact lenses while I was in California. And, I brought two boxes of lens with me to Zürich. I have a replacement.”

“I can’t believe it,” I thought. Perceptively.

Back home, Darius triumphantly displayed two boxes of contact lenses.

“Which lens did you lose, Dar?” I asked.

“The right lens.”

“Hmm,” I replied. “You have two boxes of left lenses.”

“Arghh.” Darius responded. Accurately.

Wine Tasting

Melika, carefully selecting the most expensive day to travel, arrived on Christmas Eve. She arrived with Dolce, the dog, and an impressive Blackberry™ device that allowed her to stay in constant contact (at least until the charger was inexplicably ‘lost’) with her office. Melika had asked Nazy to arrange, among our other excursions, a wine-tasting expedition. Nazy called a friend with a family winery in Sion.

“Unfortunately, Nazy,” he explained. “I’ve been fired from my job at the winery.”

“But!” Nazy exclaimed. “It’s a family business. You are family. They can’t fire you.”

“It’s an expensive business, Naz. The Family has made a big investment in equipment, but the customers are just not buying.”

“Dan says the same thing about his company’s products. I wonder if you share customers with Dan. Is a large bank one your…?”

“No, Naz, I don’t deal with banks - at least not as customers. But, in spite of the personnel developments, I am looking forward to seeing you and the family in Sion.”

After hanging up, Nazy turned to me. “The economy must be in really bad shape. He was fired by his parents.”

“Really?” I replied.

“Yes, it’s…”

“A revelation, Nazy! I didn’t know that it was possible to fire your own children. I wish that I had known about this when they were teenagers.”

Sion is in the French part of Switzerland. As expected, we left far later than planned. And, because of traffic problems, we arrived even farther later than planned. Nevertheless, the presentation was gracious and interesting. The descriptions made sense and we toured the facility before selecting a case of Cabernet.