INKing the Deal

The customer asked for a ‘first class’ visit.

“First Class?” I thought. “That seems like a very dated expression. For example, I haven’t flown ‘First Class’ for many years.”

The customer wanted corporate gifts – pens and leather portfolios. Since a closure on a big deal was in the cards, we wanted to oblige. Naturally, following corporate procedure (and process) was mandatory. This meant that we couldn’t simply find a supplier and purchase the gifts. We had to acquire the items from the corporate gift center.

My assistant, an expert in the process, was annoyed to discover that:

“They are out of stock on the best stuff, Dan.”

“If we can’t get best, I’ll settle for better.”

“Unavailable.”

“How about ‘good’?”

“We might be able to get ‘not embarrassing’. Will that do?”

It would have – had we been able to deliver. The gift center process provides just in time (JIT) delivery. (Since many meetings are ultimately cancelled, the JIT approach means that ‘not embarrassing’ gifts are only dispatched when a meeting is firmly confirmed.) Astonishingly, our JIT Cross Pens arrived, well, Just In Time.

The customer discovered that the pens were JNI: Just No Ink. Refills, i.e. the part of the pen that contains the ink, were back ordered. In short – we gave gifts that didn’t work. It’s sort of like delivering servers without memory. (Oops! Been there. Done that.)

The customer was not amused. My assistant was not amused. And, today, 2 weeks after the workshop, the refills arrived – in an ink stained box. In the name of 'operational efficiency' we purchased generic refills.

“See,” I explained to the customer. “It would have been much worse if we had presented the total package. You’d have an ink-stained shirt.”

The photo is of Mt. Fuji in Japan. Ink is not permitted to leak in Japan.