The blogger notes the commentary posted about the previous blog. The “Darius Character” has been providing material for decades. The following posting recounts an event from the mid-1990s. It took place in The Netherlands.
Darius was puzzled. Typically, he wasn’t speechless. “What’s this, Dad?”
“It’s your allowance, Darius”, I replied.
“But it’s in an envelope.”
“That’s right Darius, I’ve provided your first regular monthly pay slip. It details your gross pay as well as various deductions.”
“Deductions?”
“Just read the pay slip, Darius. Your mother and I are going out for a walk. We’ll talk to you when we get back.”
Darius looked puzzled. He began to rip open the envelope. I dashed downstairs and grabbed Nazy. “Let’s go, dear, we’ve got to get out of here for a few minutes to let him calm down. We don’t have much time, I only used five embedded envelopes, a roll of cellophane tape and a tube of superglue.” The door slammed shut just - and an ear-piercing screech wafted down from Darius’ room.
Nazy and I had decided that Darius needed an introduction to the world of low finance. In particular, we thought it would be nice if Darius could last an entire day with his allowance in his pocket. We felt that Darius suffered from a surplus of thoughtfulness and a dearth of common sense. The situation was difficult - the common sense we wanted to inject would probably mean that he wouldn’t be buying us flowers as often.
Our approach to financial training began with the monthly allowance. This month we had kept a journal of Darius’ overdrafts. Typically, he had spent previous months’ allowance the day he received it. Predictably, he borrowed money from me, Nazy, Mitra, Melika, his friends, his teachers, the neighbors, the tram driver, the principal and the Queen. We had deducted these additional expenditures from the allowance of this month. We weren’t completely accurate - that would have required presentation of an invoice. In this case, deductions exactly matched income.
After a moderately long walk, Nazy and I returned home. Darius was in a complete tizzy. He had nailed a formal petition to our bedroom door. He demanded a family meeting.
He was in luck. Nazy had just been elected President of the Petroleum Wives Club. She had a gavel and a grasp of Robert’s Rules of Order - which she used to call us to order.
“The chair recognizes Darius.”
“Daddy put a bunch of reductions in my allowance; I didn’t get any money. I move we throw Daddy out of the family - right after he pays a fine for annoying me.”
This was a bit too much for me. “They’re not reductions, Darius, they’re called deductions. And we used them because you must learn to manage your money.”
“Oh, yeah? My allowance is reduced isn’t it?”
“No Darius, your allowance is unchanged. The deductions are subtracted from your unchanged allowance.”
“The amount of money I get is reduced isn’t it? Besides, how can I learn to manage my money if your stupid reductions don’t let me have any?”
I grabbed Nazy’s gavel. I wanted to use it on Darius’ head.
“That’s out of order, Dan”, Nazy said, grabbing control of both the conversation and the gavel. “Besides, Darius”, she continued, “it wasn’t just Daddy who decided on the reductions. We decided together.”
“It’s deductions, Nazy”, I interjected.
“Deductions, reductions what’s the difference? The bottom line is...”
“Zero, Mom. That’s what the bottom line is. Zero!”
“That’s enough, Darius”, I shouted.
“It’s not enough Dad. That’s why we’re having this meeting.”
“Nazy! I need the gavel!”
Darius was puzzled. Typically, he wasn’t speechless. “What’s this, Dad?”
“It’s your allowance, Darius”, I replied.
“But it’s in an envelope.”
“That’s right Darius, I’ve provided your first regular monthly pay slip. It details your gross pay as well as various deductions.”
“Deductions?”
“Just read the pay slip, Darius. Your mother and I are going out for a walk. We’ll talk to you when we get back.”
Darius looked puzzled. He began to rip open the envelope. I dashed downstairs and grabbed Nazy. “Let’s go, dear, we’ve got to get out of here for a few minutes to let him calm down. We don’t have much time, I only used five embedded envelopes, a roll of cellophane tape and a tube of superglue.” The door slammed shut just - and an ear-piercing screech wafted down from Darius’ room.
Nazy and I had decided that Darius needed an introduction to the world of low finance. In particular, we thought it would be nice if Darius could last an entire day with his allowance in his pocket. We felt that Darius suffered from a surplus of thoughtfulness and a dearth of common sense. The situation was difficult - the common sense we wanted to inject would probably mean that he wouldn’t be buying us flowers as often.
Our approach to financial training began with the monthly allowance. This month we had kept a journal of Darius’ overdrafts. Typically, he had spent previous months’ allowance the day he received it. Predictably, he borrowed money from me, Nazy, Mitra, Melika, his friends, his teachers, the neighbors, the tram driver, the principal and the Queen. We had deducted these additional expenditures from the allowance of this month. We weren’t completely accurate - that would have required presentation of an invoice. In this case, deductions exactly matched income.
After a moderately long walk, Nazy and I returned home. Darius was in a complete tizzy. He had nailed a formal petition to our bedroom door. He demanded a family meeting.
He was in luck. Nazy had just been elected President of the Petroleum Wives Club. She had a gavel and a grasp of Robert’s Rules of Order - which she used to call us to order.
“The chair recognizes Darius.”
“Daddy put a bunch of reductions in my allowance; I didn’t get any money. I move we throw Daddy out of the family - right after he pays a fine for annoying me.”
This was a bit too much for me. “They’re not reductions, Darius, they’re called deductions. And we used them because you must learn to manage your money.”
“Oh, yeah? My allowance is reduced isn’t it?”
“No Darius, your allowance is unchanged. The deductions are subtracted from your unchanged allowance.”
“The amount of money I get is reduced isn’t it? Besides, how can I learn to manage my money if your stupid reductions don’t let me have any?”
I grabbed Nazy’s gavel. I wanted to use it on Darius’ head.
“That’s out of order, Dan”, Nazy said, grabbing control of both the conversation and the gavel. “Besides, Darius”, she continued, “it wasn’t just Daddy who decided on the reductions. We decided together.”
“It’s deductions, Nazy”, I interjected.
“Deductions, reductions what’s the difference? The bottom line is...”
“Zero, Mom. That’s what the bottom line is. Zero!”
“That’s enough, Darius”, I shouted.
“It’s not enough Dad. That’s why we’re having this meeting.”
“Nazy! I need the gavel!”
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