Questions and Answers

What is your personal opinion of the German Labor Laws described in a previous post?

I used to believe that the flexibility of the US approach was undoubtedly superior. In the current environment of off-shoring, near-shoring and relentless cost-cutting, I am no longer sure. Management is driven by short-term metrics, as pervasive and dangerous as the narrow horizon of the banking community. Moving jobs and cutting costs leads, in the short-term, to improved profitability – but it is not clear that it leads to long-term success. While it may be true that the cost of off-shore support is lower, it is equally clear that quality is often negatively impacted. Moreover, the manager who takes the "tough decision" to off-shore will be rewarded – in the near term – and won’t be around to clean up the resulting mess in the long term. And, while the analysts, who have no skin the game, will be happy, the company will lose the cultural knowledge and product wisdom of the displaced employees.

Aside: Note that ‘the analysts’ frequently d

isparaged financial performance of the prudent banks that didn’t jump on the sub-prime lemming track to corporate demise.

Moreover, the mess is rarely the fault of the employees who pay the price. The problem could be caused by managerial ineptitude or a changing environment. It is, for example, not possible to remain in business when the market disappears. (I wouldn’t like to be employed by someone who manufactures film for cameras and it might not be good to be in a company that prints magazines.) In this case, jobs will disappear and it seems reasonable to provide a respectable transition for displaced employees.

In other cases, what was standard practice, often for decades, simply vanishes. Automobile manufacturers and airlines, for example, provided, as a matter of course, pensions and medical coverage for retirees. New entrants, without these expenses are touted as brilliant and employees of the traditional providers are harangued as inflexible. Human nature, however, means that household levels of expenditure are based not on current income, but on past income and calculations about the future. Of course people are going to resist giving up what benefits that they have been promised. It seems reasonable to provide a respectable transition for impacted employees.

And, by the way, a 401-K plan from which employers can disengage when times get difficult, is no match for a defined pension. In addition, although the entire American medical system is dysfunctional, it is a fact that in the past, the employer paid for the insurance – and the insurance companies provided it. Both of these benefits are being eroded.

Finally, if the flexible employment system was so superior, we’d expect that the companies that fail to follow it unprofitably deliver poor quality products. Hmm.. would you rather have a BMW or a Chevy? How about GM or Audi stock certificates?

Another photo of Nazy – who is still miffed by the Iranian birth certificate debacle.

Christmas Tree Victory

After the holiday, Nazy and I carted the (gargantuan) Martin Family Christmas Tree downstairs. Fully, well, partially, aware of the Swiss recycling regulations, we knew that they would collect discarded Christmas Trees during the two weeks after New Year. Later, we discovered that they collect trees that are no more than 1.5 meters tall. Our tree, large enough when standing to require an aircraft warning light, remained uncollected.

We moved to plan B. In the cover of night, I took my clippers and cut off many branches from the tree. I placed, well I stuffed, the debris into the “Green Garbage” can. Later, I learned that contrary to common sense, evergreen debris does not meet the recycling definition of Green Garbage.

Creatively, I gathered a collection of old roses and tulips and stuffed them into the garbage can on top of (and hopefully obscuring) the evergreen. This worked – in the sense that they actually emptied the can. (If they can figure out who did this, we may receive an official fine.)

The tree itself – or at least the trunk of the tree - remained as an eyesore in front of the apartment building. Slinking out at midnight (once again) I sawed the trunk into 6 pieces and left them next to the Green Garbage can. Amazingly, a few days later these tree pieces disappeared.

You may ask why we didn’t burn the tree in the fireplace. It’s simple: evergreen resin is polluting and burning it in a fireplace is illegal.

The photo of Nazy is provided as additional compensation for an earlier posting.

The Year of the Tiger

As promised in the last post, a photograph conveying, more accurately, Nazy’s bubbly personality is provided in today’s entry. Naturally, the topic of the blog has nothing to do with the photograph.

Happy Chinese New Year! It is the year of the Tiger. In a few weeks (on the vernal equinox) it will be Persian New Year. Six weeks ago it was, eh, some other New Year.

On a personal note, I am unhappy to be born in the Chinese Year of the Dog – especially given my reaction to Dolce – Melika’s Dog. I would prefer to be a Dragon (like Mitra), a Ram like Darius or even a Rooster like Melika. [Nazy is so unimpressed with her Chinese symbol that I’m not allowed to rat it out in this blog entry.]

Can someone explain why the Chinese didn’t make every year exciting? For example: The Year of the Snow Leopard certainly sounds better than The Year of the Snake. No one born in The Year of the Pig would complain about a change to The Year of T-Rex. And surely The Year of the Cherry Blossom would be more popular than The Year of the Ox.

Happy Year of the Tiger: May you have health, happiness and prosperity.

The Birth Certificate

In Switzerland, whenever a birth certificate is required – for example to apply for a passport – the authorities will not accept the birth certificate, i.e. the one issued when you were born. The only documentation that they will accept must have been issued within the last six months. Since this seems absurd to me, I’m clearly not sufficiently assimilated to get a Swiss passport. Moreover, this approach raises questions. For example:

My real birth certificate – the one issued when I was born – contains a blue seal from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and inked footprints and handprints from 'Baby Dan'. I doubt that newly prepared documentation would be so cool.

Nazy, however, has a much more difficult problem. Her birth certificate, a nifty little book, was issued by “The Empire of Iran”. As such, it is no longer valid: she needs to get an “Islamic” birth certificate. And, to do this, she needed an Islamic photo and a trip to the Embassy of the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Spousal Interrupt: “Surely you do not plan to put that photo in the blog. Right Dan?” Nazy seemed distraught.

Response: “Actually, my dear, it is important that this blog faithfully represent family activities.”

Spousal Response: “Publishing that photo could reduce the number of family activities that you are able to partake in.”

Response: “Is that a dangling participle?”

Subsequent blog entries will provide a more representative photograph of Nazy. Note: we have been married for more than 37 years. This is the only unsmiling photograph of Nazy that I have ever taken. There is something fundamentally wrong with a government that can erase Nazy’s smile.

Trash?

For me, the kitchen is a scary and mysterious place. However, with courage and perseverance, I’ve mastered a few basics: I can put milk (not water) over my corn flakes and I can load the ice cube trays with water (not milk). Aware of my shortcomings in the culinary arts, I avoid dangerous appliances – especially things like stoves, ovens, burners, pans, knives and the like. In the hands of the inept, these items are dangerous.

Nazy, aware of my congenital limitations, has delegated non-cooking tasks. Accordingly, I wash dishes and take out the garbage. Over time – we’ve been married more than 35 years – I been granted the freedom to make some decisions on my own.

Last week, just before guests arrived for dinner, Nazy asked (well, ‘Nazy told’) me to clean the kitchen. I washed a zillion pots and pans:

“Why,” I thought, “do we need multiple pans for one item? If we have a meat dish, then one pot, preferably one that can be thrown out, should be sufficient. I need to explain the principles of operational efficiency to Nazy.”

After washing, I moved into clean-up mode. Look at the photo at the beginning of this blog and answer the following questions:

1. Would you immediately conclude that the orange carcasses should be trashed?
2. Would it occur to you that the orange carcasses had been lovingly saved to serve as decorative containers for the home-made mango/orange ice cream dessert?
3. Would you be astonished if you spouse questioned your sanity, ability and thoughtfulness in the event that you answered question 1 with a “yes”?

Labor Law

“Germany!”Our CEO exclaimed. “60% of the complaints about management come from Germany – more than from any other country. Far more than from any other country. But – the absolute lowest attrition rate, 1.1%, is in Germany.”

He pretended to be baffled by this apparent contradiction: the biggest complainers were the least likely to leave the company. The rationale is actually very simple – German Labor Law:

• You can’t fire people in Germany for expressing their opinion.


• Workforce reduction in Germany is very expensive and may reduce the ‘wrong people’; management can’t pick and choose.


• The lack of flexibility in the labor market makes companies reluctant to hire full-time staff. This corporate reluctance contributes to individual reticence to leave an existing job – even if one that is not pleasant. The corporate and individual views reinforce each other to maintain the status quo.
  

Our company, certainly not interested in a very expensive work force reduction program is trying an alternative approach.

“The only approved company car will be a VW Golf.” I was told.

“Hmm..” I replied – pensively.

“In Germany, Dan, a car is not just a means of transportation. It reflects status and importance, competence and success levels. Can you imagine on of our sales people showing up at Deutsche Telecom, or DHL, or Beyer or Airbus in a Golf? A Golf!”

The photo is the Heidelberg Castle. Some things in Germany didn't make it through the middle ages.

Flight Plans

“I want to go to the wedding, Dad, but a ticket from Beirut to Chattanooga costs $1500, Dad.” Darius explained.

“That i$ a lot of money, Dar,” I replied.

“Or..”

“Or?”

“Or – I could use 100,000 frequent flyer miles.”

“Do you have 100,000 miles?”

“No, but I have 90,000 miles and Qatar Airways is a member of ‘my’ alliance. Do you think I should go to Bangladesh or Sri Lanka?”

“Excuse me?”

“I can take either trip for $350, earn the 10,000 miles that I need and get a free trip to Chattanooga. I even get to visit a country that you’ve never seen. Bangladesh or Sri Lanka?”

“I better book my trip to Antarctica if I want to stay ahead of him,” I thought. “Well...” I said.

“It’s a great idea, Dad. Right?”

“Are you sure you’ll get full mileage credit for your trip to, eh, Sri Lanka?” [“Bangladesh is under water,” I thought.] “Sometimes cheap flights don’t give full mileage credit.”

“I’ll probably..”

“Probably? Have you confirmed that frequent flyer seats are available on the day you want to go to Chattanooga?”

“Hmm..”

“Don’t worry,” I replied. “If you have scheduling difficulties, I’ll just ask Nazy to ask Saphura to change the wedding day.”

“You’ll do what?” Nazy interrupted.

“This is a man-to-man conversation with my son, Nazy. Why are you listening in?”

I will provide an update on whether this worked after the wedding.