Multinational is not International

Note: Blog entries about corporate life should not be read as complaints about my own employer, the customer that I deal with or specific individuals. They merely represent commentary that may be at odds with best corporate practice

Unexpectedly the Norway-based customer had made a reasonable request. They wanted a single global price for all of the project’s computers; they also wanted delivery anywhere in the world. Our multi (not inter) national company found this very hard to do. Each of the operating units was country based and each had different standard terms, conditions and prices. (And, most importantly, each country wanted to make sure that ‘they’ got full credit for the sale of hardware in their country.)

I had, I thought, designed a clever solution. We had a local Norwegian distributor, Telenor, purchase all the computers. Then Telenor would ship the machines to the various local sites. The first four computers were purportedly going to London. It had taken a long time to get intracompany agreement and now, the computers had been shipped, but weren’t working. I called our project engineer in the UK for an update.

“They’re still not working? Still?” Naturally I was patience and understanding.

“Not yet, Dan.”

“What happened?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Enlighten me.”

“The computers were assembled in our plant in Scotland.”

“Yes.”

“Then they were shipped to Norway. I think that was your idea, right?”

“Editorial commentary is not necessary,” I replied.

“Telenor repackaged the machines and air shipped them to London. When they arrived, the customs agents were confused: computers manufactured on Monday in Scotland were being flown into London from Norway on Wednesday. A hold was placed on the order.”

“A hold?”

“Yes. But we worked that out. I arranged for a lorry…”

“A lorry?”

“It’s a truck, Dan. The trucking company picked up the computers on Friday..”

“Which Friday?”

“That was two weeks ago.”

“Two weeks ago, but..”

“The lorry was too wide to fit in the alley by the customer’s building. So, they took the computers back to Heathrow.”

“I see.”

“Heathrow isn’t used to handling freight that isn’t going somewhere. Our shipment got lost.”

“Lost?”

“Yes, we worked that out last week. I organized a small truck..”

“A van?”

“Precisely. The van driver loaded the computers and then telephoned. He wouldn’t deliver the equipment until he got paid ₤58 and 43 pence.”

“What?”

“In cash. It seems that the last time we did this, it took him six months to get paid. So I drove to Heathrow, got money from the ATM and paid him. You will, I hope, approve the expense report.”

“Yes, of course. When did this happen?”

“Today.”

“So the computers have arrived?”

“Not exactly. With all the delays, the crew I hired to unload the computers had gone home by the time the van arrived in Central London. Luckily, the customer was willing to help unload the machines and carry them into the computer room.”

“Finally, some good news.”

“Yes, but it was raining and we dropped one of them down a stairwell.”

“Down a stairwell?”

“Only one of them. By some miracle, the racks for the units had arrived by land shipment, so we were ready to install the machines.”

“Finally, good news. So, three machines are working…”

“Not quite. In addition to repacking the computers, Telenor replaced the British power cables with Norwegian cables. We can’t…”