Darius

Like the swallows returning to Capistrano , dispersed members of The Martin Family fly to Zürich in December. (Unlike the swallows, they come on different days at different times.) This year, Darius was the first to arrive. We expected a cheery Darius since his doctoral committee had endorsed his work: a complex paper full of integrals, summations and formulas. "Surely," I thought. "This paper could have prevented the entire financial crisis." In any event, he was on the way for a Ph.D. in June. Uncharacteristically, he was concerned about more mundane things:

“I don’t have enough job interviews, Dad”

“Why not?” I replied.

“I spent all my time making my paper perfect. The other candidates simply submitted applications before the deadline.”

“Before the deadline means ‘on-time’, right, Darius?” I replied.

“And now I have only one interview, for a job in Monterrey.”

“California?” I asked.

“Mexico.” Darius replied. “I’ve sent out more than 50 resumes.”

“I guarantee you’ll have five by New Years. Where are you applying?” Nazy asked.

“My top choice is Beruit.”

“Really?” I thought

“China, Egypt, Kazakhstan would also be exciting.”

“Really?” I thought. Over the holiday Darius’ mood improved as universities replied and granted interviews.

When we reached Casa Carmen, Nazy swept into the living room: “This Christmas Tree is 11 meters high, Darius,” she exclaimed.

“Which Christmas Tree?” Darius asked.

“The Martin Family Christmas Tree is 11 meters high.” Nazy repeated.

“If it was 11 meters high, Mom,” Darius responded. “It would be sticking out through the skylight.

“If it was that tall,” I thought. “They would have to change the landing pattern at the Zürich Airport.”

In fact the tree, while gargantuan and (undoubtedly) the very best on the entire planet, was not quite 11 meters high. Nevertheless, it dominated the room and offered a more than adequate number of hanging points for the vast collection of traditional ornaments and lights.

As he settled in, Darius played 3,219 games of chess, downloaded 313 ‘Best of You Tube” videos and parameterized a model of income distribution while checking email for interviews. He got an interview from:

“Lahore, Dad.”

“La Whore? That’s in France, right?” I replied.

“It’s in Pakistan, Dad. Each faculty member has a cook, a gardener and a driver.”

“How about a bodyguard, Dar? Would you have one or two of those?”

“Maybe Pakistan is a little dangerous.”

“A little dangerous?” I replied. “Do you have any opportunities in any normal place?”

“I’ve got an interview with a University in Christchurch, New Zealand.”

“You’ve been there, right? You stopped on the way to somewhere.”

“Christchurch is not on the way to anywhere, Dad.”

“Precisely! That’s why I was sure it had been on one of your itineraries.”

“Why can’t he do something in California or Zürich, Dan?” Nazy asked.

“Did you try Argentina,” Mitra inquired. “Buenos Aires is a wonderful place.”

“He is an economist, Mitra,” I explained. “There is no economy in Argentina.”

“Sounds perfect for someone who moved to Iceland, Dad.”

"Can you make them shut-up, Dad?" Darius asked.