Following habit, I checked my eMail when I returned to the hotel. I just had time to dial-in to a “very important” con-call.“I bet they’re going to remind me that the end of quarter is nigh,” I thought.
I was wrong.
It quickly became apparent that the purpose of the call was to announce the departure of my boss, Nicola. I can’t say that this was a surprising development. Nicola’s (old) job has historically been, eh, a road that leads directly out of HP.
Four people have held this job in the last four years; all have left. The profiles of the unfortunate managers are varied because the company has no clue about what they want from the person holding the job. Alberto was highly detailed oriented – managing with a 2000 row, 300 column spreadsheet. Andrew was clueless and disconnected; he saw customers only when the location and time coincided with an international Rugby match. Jose understood the financial markets and was brilliant but completely unfocused. Nicola had no background in Financial Services, but he was well-connected with EMEA management.
The job, Vice President of Financial Services Industries in EMEA, has neither budget nor staff – just responsibility. The incumbent has to manage, by influence, several very senior people – like me. It’s just like my job except that I don’t have to influence anyone as troublesome as me.
Pesky business meetings interfered with the major purpose of the trip – Nazy’s shopping list. I finally located the Kenobo Emulsifier, Comet Scouring Powder (which is illegal in Switzerland), a Queen-sized Mattress Pad and some fake sugar (i.e. Splenda™).
Breathless with excitement (and anxious to take credit), I called Nazy in Zürich. She was overjoyed to hear of my superior shopping success.
“I asked for Bon Ami, Dan. Not Comet. And the Splenda is for you.”
“But the Kenobo…”
“… Emulsifier II?”
“… naturally, my dear.” (II made a mental note to confirm.)
“Well. It’s snowing in Zürich. See you soon.”
In case you're wondering... the picture has nothing whatsoever to do with the content.
2 comments:
I love the picture! It inspires me to leave a comment that has nothing to do with the content.
i think it would be great if the pictures generally have nothing to do with the content, then we can write unrelated comments that poetically link the two!
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